The other day a friend asked me about a certain something I'd recently changed in my life. I am always excited to discuss the things that I've learned, so I told my friend a little bit about why I'd changed this thing. Mid-sentance my friend stopped me and told me they didn't believe what I was telling them at all. And that was that. I felt awkward, and we began talking about something else.
I've been thinking about this experience a lot. I'm used to meeting people who don't really agree with my views on the world, let's be honest, my thoughts on life are different than the mainstream... I confess though, this abrupt reaction stung a little.
There are basic things that we learn about communication, and being polite. We also learn that everyone has the right to their own opinion. How then do we answer questions about our alternative views without being offended at rebuffs? We shouldn't have to absorb everyone's opinions to be nice, but where is that kind medium?
I think for me the key really is to be more full of love. The scriptures are rife with the thought that pride brings malice. I don't want to be like that. Love is the cure all for strife of any kind. If I can look at a person who does not want to listen to my thoughts, and love them, then I will not be offended. And I will be able to hear them, and answer them in a way that they, in most cases, will not be offended either.
What has helped you to better communicate in this crazy world?
You're so right Melissa. Love is the answer always -- we're so much happier when we give ourselves permission not to be offended. I have often drawn upon the sentence Joseph shared with our family years ago, "It's more important to be kind than to be right."
ReplyDeleteI have always loved that quote, it is so true!
DeleteSometimes in circumstances like that, it helps me to think that one day, all will come to light. Believing that helps to soften my heart. Maybe your friend wasn't ready to understand what you had to share. In some cases, it's important to discuss how reactions affect you so the relationship can progress (as with a spouse), but with most casual relationships, we have to learn how to let it go, "like water off a duck's back," as my dad might say.
ReplyDeleteI heard an idea about controlling one's feelings in dealing with frustrating children that has helped me. The person recommended putting all the anger, annoyance, etc. in an imaginary box and placing it at the far side of the room. That way, you don't have to get rid of it (after all, we're entitled to our feelings), but placing them aside allows us to act more objectively. By the time the situation has gone by, you probably won't want to open the box back up anyway. This practice might help a person develop love for others... that, and praying our hearts out for charity!
All that being said, your friend should have listened to you! I bet you were offering them a little gold nugget of Melissa wisdom.
I, of course, would feel that what I was sharing was a supreme nugget of wisdom. :) (Not that all of the nuggets I consider so amazing are...) It really does help to think that someday everyone will understand better. Until that time, though, it is helpful to be able to let things just roll. Friendships are more important than forcing someone to listen to your personal beliefs.
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