Helps for a Happy Home Birth

This is Peter.  I met him two and a half weeks ago under the most extraordinary circumstances!  Sort of like magic, really.  Cameron and I entered our house, just the two of us, and the next time we emerged together, there was Peter with us!  We went for a walk, and after getting acquainted, we decided we'd keep him.

Wouldn't you?

I won't indulge right now by retelling the birth story.  But I did want to share a list of my favorite labor tricks and comforts that aided me during our natural home birth.  I would love to hear from readers about what (and who) helped you through labor!

Preparation

Nothing is more important than trusting one's instincts during labor, submitting to your more primitive self who knows (like all other mammals) how to give birth.  But I tell you!  I was helped so much by reading a great number of birth stories, articles and books (my favorite pictured above), by attending a birth class, by talking to other mothers, by "practicing labor" with Cameron at our house, and by meeting often with our wonderful midwife, Richelle Jolley.  I did indeed refer mentally to many of the things I had learned as I progressed through labor.  But most importantly, they taught me what to expect and drove all fear out of me prior to the birth.  Fear is to pain as oxygen is to fire.

I especially encourage any expectant mother to read the birth stories (especially natural birth stories) of as many other women as she can.  She will learn what she wants her own labor to be, and learn to believe in her body.

The Rope

This was my favorite during active labor!  We got the idea from Ina May's research on a few traditional cultures in which ropes are used during labor.  Cameron and I bought a strong smooth rope from Ace Hardware, and he rigged it to the top of our stairs, so it was hanging down to the side of the staircase.  He hung it like the picture on the bottom left, hammock-like, but he also tied evenly-spaced knots in it.  He also hung it higher, so that rather than sitting on it I could loop it under my arms.  Oh, I loved this.  I loved it in so many different positions... hanging from the different knots, sinking my weight into it with it looped under my arms, or leaning forward into it.  Cam or Nonie often provided support from behind, or applied pressure/heat to my lower back.

The Ball

I didn't use this as much as I thought, but found I did like it in between contractions when they were getting closer together.  It was relieving to bounce up and down on it.  I did not like to sit on it during contractions, but Nonie says she loved that in her second labor.  So try it!  It also was great when I was using my rope and I wanted something to brace my knee against (I pinched the ball against the wall with my leg). My midwife said most women like to kneel next to it and slump over it as they rotate their hips around.

The Tub

I wish I had gotten in the tub sooner (which was actually a horse trough lent to us by our midwife).  But I rushed so quickly through active labor and transition I hardly had time to get myself into the tub before pushing.  (I hadn't planned on a water birth, but it ended up that way because I could not get out again once I was in stage two).  I believe it would have been more of a comfort had I gotten in earlier, because it felt just heavenly after the baby was born and they added some hot water.

Note: earlier in the day we folded a quilt into quarters and put it on the bottom of the tub, then lined the sides with pillows.  We then covered all of this in a huge sheet of plastic, and taped the plastic around the outside edge of the trough.  This made the trough much softer and more comfortable for me than it would have been --- and none of the bedding even got wet!

Descending Chromatic Scales

This was the best pain relief of the day!  Early on in labor I found a deep low hum that really helped ease my pain.  When I focused on the notes, their depth and their vibrations, I was able to forget about the pain of contractions.  Here is an excerpt from my birth story about what happened in active labor: "My humming had turned to singing, deep long low pitches.  The lower I kept my voice, the less I felt the pain, and the more pain I felt the louder I had to sing.  Soon I was singing long descending chromatic scales, to keep my voice moving lower through each wave rather than higher.  If my voice rose to higher pitches it meant I was giving into the pain and feeling it much more intensely.  Keeping my voice low and strong helped me feel that I had everything under control, that I was stronger than the pain.  I could feel it also helped me open up and relax, especially if I let a little vibrato in."

Sleep
My labor lasted 31 hours, but until it was over I never reached a point of real fatigue.  One reason is that I made every effort (and Cam did too) to sleep when it was night, and catch naps in the day.  Granted, I could only sleep between contractions, but those minutes added up!

Eating and Drinking

I ate throughout labor, another huge reason I believe I avoided fatigue.  Pasta with a heavy beef/liver tomato sauce; fried eggs and toast; cheese and crackers; Nonie's homemade granola in raw milk... all good energy food.  And plenty of water!  Just remember to use the bathroom frequently as a full bladder does not aid labor.

I also took my vitamins, and a not-so-tasty shock tea (apple cider vinegar, cayenne pepper, etc.) to help limit bleeding.

Moving Around
Until I was in really active labor, I hardly ever took two consecutive contractions in the same position.  I leaned over furniture, arched over my hands and knees, swayed from Cameron's shoulders, leaned against a wall, sat on the edge of a chair, or squatted.  These upright positions not only help labor progress, the variety really helped the time pass!

Getting Outside

Nonie was responsible for getting me to put on my coat and boots and go outside (in my 27th hour of labor).  We climbed around on some huge metal pipes stacked near our property, walked the perimeter of the yard a couple times, and leaned against trees, etc. during contractions.  It was a really nice change of scenery, especially the crisp fresh air.  But most importantly, this is when labor really picked up!  It was a race to the finish from there.

Music

I had planned on making two long playlists --- one more peaceful and relaxing, the other energizing --- to match whatever moods I might find myself in during labor.  I never got around to that!  Now I'm glad, because all I really wanted was simple Bach cello suites and some Thomas Tallis choral pieces.  These ran over and over throughout my labor, and I never tired of them.  I needed their simplicity.

Companionship
I was really fine on my own through most of early labor, and took the contractions leaning against furniture or on my hands and knees.  But it was nice having Cameron for conversation and encouragement, and eventually Nonie as well.  By the time I was in active labor, I really needed them.  I needed to be touched (firmly) and talked to calmly.  I needed to be able to hang from Cameron's shoulders or have him supporting me from behind.  Feeling the presence of one who loved me made a great deal of difference in how I took the pain.

Heat and Counter-pressure
Let's just say the heated rice bags were heaven, especially when applied to my lower back.  And counter-pressure above my sacrum or against my knees was incredibly relieving... it cut the pain in half.  Probably part of that pain relief was due simply to the physical contact with a loving person, but the pressure really helped.

A Compassionate Birth Team

Richelle Jolley (left) and her attendants

My midwife and her two apprentices were efficient, practical, methodical... but above all they were humane, gentle, and compassionate.  They trusted me and respected me; they trusted and respected the natural process of birth; they were guided equally by their expertise and by their instincts and spiritual impressions.  My midwife asked permission anytime she needed to do something mildly invasive --- which was rare.  Above all, when they spoke to me they were kind and encouraging.  They were still smiling, even when they left the house at 5:00 am.

Why does this matter?  A woman who is uncomfortable with her surroundings --- particularly with any individual present --- cannot relax and open up as needed.  Her adrenaline is sparked and her labor is slowed; she is in defense mode.  The complete comfort I felt with these wonderful women, whom I knew very well by the time of our labor thanks to our many long appointments, allowed me to focus calmly on my body without worrying what anyone else in the room might be doing or saying.

Gratitude and Positivity
Nothing is more crucial than an accepting and loving attitude.  I was blessed to have a greater measure of love, acceptance, and gratitude during my labor than I ever do in the course of a normal day.  I wish there were some scientific way to measure and prove what I swear by my own experience: love and gratitude counteract pain.  Even during the toughest parts of labor, I felt a certain positivity and acceptance that kept me from frustration or fear, and greatly lessened my sensitivity to the pain.  I am so thankful for the prayers of everyone who thought of me during my labor, because I am sure it was their faith that lent me such grace.  One day I want to return to that place, where my heart felt so pure and my love so complete, because it brought me joy even in the midst of real travail.  But I still and will always intensely love the people who supported me, prayed for me, and believed in me. 

And I will always be grateful for Peter...

Whole Food Snacks Kids Love

I am pretty committed to eating real food. This means I don't buy my kids processed snacks, which has the double benefit of saving me money and of course, keeping us healthier. I'm also happy to announce that this does not make for unhappy children. Preparing snacks may take more time and planning, but it's a worthy endeavor. Here are some ideas for whole food snacks you can dish up easily, at home or on the go.

VEGGIES: You can't get too many! It's handy to keep an assortment easily accessible, even chopped and ready to grab from the fridge. Veggies are incredibly easy to take out and about. My kids dig carrots, celery, pickles, avocados, cucumbers, baby peppers, cauliflower... We get a box of organic produce from Farm Fresh every couple weeks, which usually affords us a surprise veggie or two. The sugar snaps from my garden have been an extra special treat the last couple weeks, lucky us.

DIPS: Veggies are sometimes easier to love when they have a companion. With dips, my kids will also do lettuce, tomatoes, radishes, among others. We all love this homemade ranch recipe (I use my mayo to make it) or try homemade hummus flavored as you like. This recipe from Ariel's blog calls for canned chickpeas, but I usually prepare them from dry. If you don't have tahini, peanut butter works similarly (hold the sugar and oils). I've tried both ways.

FRUITS: Due to the natural sugars, fruit takes an easy second place to vegetables in my mind. They are much more like a treat, and my kids go bananas for them. We particularly enjoy blueberries, strawberries, apples, oranges, pears, peaches, grapes, mangos, bananas, pomegranate seeds, kiwis, pineapple... hmmm, what don't we like? Try something new!

Two friends enjoying their apples.

• Applesauce is a welcome treat. I make my own because I like to leave the peels on, and I don't generally add a sweetener, which some companies do. Plus, I can add plenty of cinnamon.
• Fruit leather: Last summer I made a dehydrator full for a camping road trip, and it was a hit! Just throw some fruit in the blender, pour onto trays, and dry. If you don't have a dehydrator, put one on your wish list. (There must be ways to make leather without one, but I don't know how.)
• We also like dried fruit, but if you're not drying your own, read those ingredients for the sneaky extra sugar. You might be surprised what else creeps in (always check frozen fruit as well).
• You can also make fruit popsicles by blending the fruit and freezing it in a mold.

CHEESE: We love our raw cheddar, but most cheese will please kids. We often experiment in this arena as well. I lived in France for a while, and couldn't even look at most typical American cheeses afterward.

WHOLE GRAIN SNACKS: I try to prepare my whole grains using traditional methods (souring, sprouting, soaking). There is now science to explain the reasons for these traditional approaches, and my body corroborates.

• This homemade cracker recipe has been a big hit around here. They don't last nearly long enough, but it doesn't matter since the recipe is simple. You could change it up by adding whatever you like to taste in a cracker: honey and cinnamon, herbs, cheese, a little extra salt, or whatever! And you could easily sneak in some finely diced or pureed veggies.  Once I experiment with it a few more times, I'll do a post on it.
• I've also successfully made these soaked whole grain tortillas, which you can stuff with anything or dip in aforementioned hummus. Or guacamole... mmmmmm. 
• Super simple guac: mashed avocados, lemon juice, cilantro, sea salt. Add extras (i.e. tomatoes) to your liking.

YOGURT: We regularly make yogurt-based smoothies, but we also like to eat it with fruit and chia seeds or my granola. Again, if you don't make your own, watch out for brands packed with sugar, HFCS, and other additives. Try just buying plain and flavor or sweeten it yourself. Do your bodies a favor and skip the low-fat varieties. There are a myriad reasons you and your kids need that fat.

MEAT: There are some yummy meat snacks you can tote around if you like:

• Jerky: again, I make my own. Taste-wise, it's a far cry from the store-bought stuff, and with no hidden MSG.  Buy some high-quality meat, marinate it overnight, slice it thin, and dry it up.
• Try to find a good old fashioned salame with lactic acid started culture in the list of ingredients.
• Other snack-type meat, including lunch meats (check that there are no nitrates or nitrites in the meat).

EGGS: Hard-boiled eggs with a little seasoning are easy, plus great fun to crack and peel.

BEANS: My kids love to eat beans with their fingers. Buy them dry, soak them overnight, cook them up (can take a couple hours), season them as you like, and they're ready to tote around! I prefer to prepare my own beans for several reasons:

• When I do the long soak and cook, my body handles the beans much more politely.
• Most companies still line the cans with BPA.
• I can control what goes in there
• Considerably cheaper

RAW NUTS AND SEEDS: Our staples include almonds, walnuts, pecans, cashews, sunflower seeds, and pumpkin seeds. We love them soaked overnight in salt water, then dried. Soaking nuts and seeds is a common practice for real and raw foodies. As with grains, this process neutralizes phytic acid and other anti-nutrients, which act to bind up nutrients and inhibit digestive enzymes. We think it also makes them tastier.

COMBOS: Get creative with your whole foods snacks. There are lots of recipes floating around for things like:

• Homemade granola or granola bars
• Trail mix
• Fruit/cheese kabobs
• For a special treat, try these powerballs.

What am I missing here? Please share what whole food snacks work at your house!

**Because my boys are still small, they never got used to common store-bought snacks (crackers, cookies, fruit snacks, sugary granola/fruit bars, etc.). I would also be interested in hearing from parents who started the switch to real foods when their kids were older. What tricks do you have in helping them adjust to the good stuff?

DIY Play Kitchen

For Christmas I gave the boys a play kitchen I put together.  I started with this hutch I found at the thrift store. 

  

As full disclosure, my friend, Camilla had recently made a kitchen from an almost identical hutch (the above pic is actually hers), so I just used her experience and expertise (and paint) to make a very similar kitchen.

Here is the finished product.  I used a bowl I had for the sink (you could use a dog bowl too), chalkboard paint for the oven "window," hardware from IKEA (the faucet is actually a cupboard handle).  The oven and stove knobs and burners I pried off a mini portable kitchen set I found at a garage sale (Camilla just traced concentric circles for burners and that looks great too). 

 

 

Here's Camilla's kitchen.  Please note the tile backsplash!

Over all it was a really easy project that just took only a few dollars and hours, but we get great use out of it.